Dreading Monday?! Change your Doings, Not Your Days
When I'm sent a message, I like to listen up.
The concept of being grateful has been thrown into my universe a lot lately. Stick a good ol' "I am" at the beginning and I have formed my latest mantra :) Thankfully I have a perfect excuse to practice this life-changing gratitude-attitude daily.
*Daydreams back to summertime...*
Even though I absolutely adore my job as a desk yogi, I was in a pretty mucky rut before I started. I had tried this "work" thing before see, and I was not a fan of the way it often operated. As my start date grew closer, I realized I was in danger of thinking about my upcoming position as work and only work, a place I am unhappily obligated to show up at no control of my own (or so I thought). In hindsight, I had tunnel vision from the negative connotations I absorbed from all the wrong jobs. I never used to feel stressed at the thought of leaving for a shift, and it felt ugly.
In our world when someone mentions work, stereotypes pop up as if we are conditioned to believe it's acceptable to hate where our time and energy goes because "that's just how life is." Thinking about a job as this stereotypical kind of work left the door wide open for my anxiety to sneak it again. I was so anxious at my old nine-to-five that the whole concept made me want to run full force and hide under my bed in a pathetic crumbled ball. I felt lazy and useless hating a good day's work so much, and hate is not a word I use lightly.
So, I decided to use my Talking-It-Out Super Power to reach out to my dearest friend about this crippling stress.
During our conversation, the idea of feeling grateful for the positives emerged. There was that word again! This idea had been throwing itself at me for weeks and I could no longer ignore it. I politely excused my nasty, unappreciative thoughts and gave the gratitude idea a go, difficult as it was during my angry mood.
As soon as I was merely willing to change my way of thinking in that one moment, my heart showed me what my murky energy had been trying to hide. This "job" was not only something I chose, but something I longed for. What I wanted most from my daily doings was to serve and strengthen my fellow Clevelanders. Instead of worrying my little head so much, I took a moment of gratitude for the opportunity to care for my community.
I realized that having control over 100% of my time was not what I needed after all. I love caring for people, and being there when others are in need is necessary for their well-being and my full nurturing potential. Not only that, it teaches me patience and the art of letting go of control. I am so proud to have witnessed this challenge strengthening my heart and feeding my desire to live a life of kindness.
Let's be honest with ourselves here. When we try to control our surroundings, we will always eventually be disappointed. The only control we truly have is of ourselves and our reactions to situations. Letting go of our need for control teaches us to go with the flow no matter how much the boat is rocking.
And so this summer for the first time, I felt excitement for my shift at work givingbacktomycommunitynight. Now that I am into the groove of my new place in my community, I am thrilled to be writing writing writing. But as our buddy Ben Franklin would say,
Either write something worth reading or do something worth writing.
Finally I can say that even in the hours spent away from my trusty journal and pen, I am doing good work, work that's worth writing about.