"Coming Undone"

Coming Undone

It feels like it might kill me
every time
we say goodbye
I'm shaking, hysterical
glued to the door I last saw you through
muscles frozen against the splintered wooden slab
whose frame swallowed you whole
spat you back out into blinding reality
from where I am banished.
My last glimpse at the magic through your eyes
burns a brand into my memory.
I feel full, bursting,
your love
through me wholly
completing me to the inner walls of my skin
gushing through the space between every cell.
I'm folded up, condensed into a being you
carry in your pocket.
I can feel you slipping
pulling yourself from me
taking away the force field of love you've draped across my shoulders.
But it holds me together,
Don't go from me!
How can we survive, putting miles,
whole lifetimes,
between us?

I never dealt with losing you,
the grandest nurturing I have ever felt.
I'm screaming inside
startlingly loud.
I need your arms around me,
I need your soul to hold me,
hide me from the dark place inside my head that
drains me dry.


Desperate blood running from my heart scorches me from the
inside out.
Even if you need to go
run away from all of this
don't leave me here without your love to hold me,
don't sever the tie that connects us,
the heartstring I feel from my core to yours
wherever you are.
Knot our bond until it becomes unbreakable
so that I'll never have to live without you.
I need you in this life.
I can feel your spirit
coursing through me
sprinting for answers neither of us know how to find.

I've lost all hope there's something good
meant for me,
a sound reason fate is ripping
us in half.
I don't see what could be left
if I don't have you.
I feel your desperation,
agonizing, like mine.
I feel murderous at the thought
that I could be forced to fight this life
without your love.

Your heart is the biggest I have ever felt,
and you are everything good in this world.
Your ancient energy will live on
through my heart if nowhere else
for all of time.