"A Breath in the Cold"

A Breath in the Cold

My flushed cheeks were brave,
bare against the frigid air.
I stepped into the cold and watched my breath
swirl in front of me.
I felt alive, I felt like I could
breathe in your spirit
from anywhere you are,
feel the weightlessness of the
kindness between us
not shaded by grotesque jealousy and
selfish reactions.
I began to float, imagining your smile,
wondering if you wear it, if you can bear it.
I’ve begun to heal from our past
and the more I heal
the more I soak in our memories.
Flashes of your irises
burn through my thoughts;
it was terrifying to envision you…
until I stepped into this
frozen air, and saw
how peaceful the harshest cold can be.
In that moment I felt the
good in everything,
the wisdom in
the pain you caused me,
the power of
the pain I caused you.
We changed each other fully,
you made me
a whole new being;
and if this frozen air
can freeze our hearts together
then I will endure the ice,
the cold,
every bitter gust of wind
until it brings you home to me
to rest in my heart, and
warmed by the truth that
our loving souls prevail
over this grey winter,
and a fire by the hearth awaits us
until we find our love again.